“To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want. The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people.“
I am continuing the inquiry into curiosity… the intrinsic motivation of humans… how you lost it, how to rekindle it… and what might be in the way.
I am going to use myself, because curiosity is so rare, and so relatively unconscious, unobserved, and unacknowledged, that I don’t even know who I could ask about their own experience… Let’s hope that this state of affairs will change soon.
The hectic, information driven culture in which we live, where everyone considers themselves eligible to post
I started to read the book by Edward Deci, “Why we do what we do. Understanding self-motivation”.
This is the first book, that I know, that defines self the way, or similarly the way I do…
To become a person, to have autonomy, self-determination, self-expression, integrity, self-motivation, the most important job is to find the self, by distinguishing what is the driver of all your actions, whether it is inner or outer.
And if it is inner… is it the self, or is it the “not-self”?
Greed, narcissism, hate… area inner motivators, but they are all the not-self. So are all the “negative” emotions, like frustration, haste, the desir
I suddenly got a glimpse why people are resisting doing my 67 steps coaching.
It came from Step 19 of the 67 steps… where you are asked to budget lots of money to just read… Read anything… Any good book.
And the resistance of people is tremendous. Because… this is what I wrote to a student of mine (whose yet unattainable goal is to make money) in my coaching:
I think admitting that you need to raise your foundation, from which you attempt to make money is difficult, because it is like a summary judgment on YOU…
“do you mean I am not good enough to make money the way I am”
OK, let’s start at the beginning. What is an ess… right? lol. Evolutionary Stable Strategy… ess.
Unless you are my student, or you’ve read about the selfish gene, you don’t know what I am talking about.
It’s about evolution. It’s about the genes that use life-forms as vehicles for their own purposes.
A pigeon is a life form, and it is a vehicle for its selfish genes.
A worm is also a life form, and so is an elephant.
Human is also a life-form, the only one, so far, that is in conflict with the selfish gene.
With the new phenomenon: consciousness, humans are at odds with their own genes… the “vehicle” is revolting again
The inner view and the outer view of who you are are vastly different. Your chances for success, love, happiness depend on the accuracy of your self-image. ((self-im·age
noun
noun: self-image; plural noun: self-images
the idea one has of one’s abilities, appearance, and personality.
“sickness is an affront to one’s self-image and dignity”))
Do you know that people see you differently than you see yourself? And both you and other people see you differently than you actually are.
You may see yourself worse or better or just plain different than you really are… and so do others.
Your life would work better if the two views were closer. You’d h
Motto: Mentor: Someone whose hindsight can become your foresight
Remember who you are
In 1981 I got a letter from a man from Israel. He claimed to be a second cousin on my father’s side to me. He was coming to an educational conference in Hungary. He came with his wife.
We spent time together, they were staying with me, in my one-bedroom high-rise apartment in Budapest. He visited with every member of my family, and witnessed their contempt for me first hand.
He promised to be family to me if I decided to go to Israel.
One year later I packed a suitcase and left Hungary. illegally. It was winter in Hungary when I left, in fact it w
I have always liked getting things done. Why? Because everything that doesn’t get done is like an energetic attachment, like a ball and chain on your ankle, slows you down, and prevents you from soaring… having a good time, feeling free and unencumbered.
I don’t like those feelings, so I learn, test, experiment with methods that allow me to be free.
I even like to be lighter in weight because I don’t like to be heavy in any way, including physically.
I handle problems, issues, doubts, the same way… handle them so the weights can disappear.
Nicht Normale… as my parents used to say. Not your normal child… lol. And not your normal adult.
When your life is about you… when your life is about others… when your life is about ideas.. these are different sizes of a life you can have. In this article we’ll examine the effects of these levels on your peace of mind, level of fulfillment, the quality of your life.
We’ll start with me… and my experience.
In 1988 January 1, around 3 minutes after the ball dropped on Times Square, I declared something that ultimately turned my life around.
Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
Then periodically, since then, I made declarations in a similar vein, that clarified and solidified that historical declaration in 1988.
Yesterday I had an “energy healer” type of person on the Open Mic aka Talk to Me webinar.
Normally these webinars are really fun: we talk. Students ask questions, some great, some simple and to the point… they have fun, I have fun, and our relationship deepens.
Yesterday was a different kind of session: there was this “energy healer” guy… and he was into arguing, debating, talking about what he thinks, what he learned, blah blah blah.
He considered my webinar his forum to disseminate his wisdom. His learning. His take on the world.
Download the pdf version of this article at the end of the article
Pleasure that is immediate, impulsive, and requires no or little sustained effort and
Pleasure that is the result of work… sustained effort.
No matter what pleasure you seek, what makes it pleasure is the contrast: there needs to be pain for pleasure to exist. ((Hunger makes food pleasurable… lust makes sex pleasurable… tiredness makes sleep pleasurable…))
Although I could write about pleasure that you earn through hard and sustained work, and I have written hundreds of articles about it, people with too small capacity for pain rarely turn around and become people who want to earn their pleasure.
