I am getting a lot of requests to teach people how to become people who live a life worth living, who excel in all four areas, all four pillars of the good life.
My answer is almost always: Sorry I can’t help you.
But why?
Today I got lucky and got my answer in a pristine form.
My University classmate, Panni called me. We talk once a month. She is, of course an architect: we were classmates in architecture school, a five year study.
Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…
… if you are willing to look at see what is so about you and your life.
The truth. Naked. Ugly. Often shameful.
Here is a correspondence I had with a client today:
She said: “I’m interested in changing my context since it’s part of what keeps me stuck.”
“… answering the questions: what am I doing? Why am I doing it?
Unless you have done the work of identifying what you have been doing, and why you have been doing it, no way you can shift the context. You cannot catch what you can’t see. And you cannot change what you can’t catch.”
To the degree you are able and willing to do that, to the same degree you can change your life. ((
One type of memes that you honor as the truth are called a seemings. It is that way… but if you can change the saying: “It seems to me that…” then it becomes a seeming.
Why turn something into a seeming?
Saying “It seems to me” starts turning on the capacity of responsibility.
Responsibility, the way the capacity sees it, is a privilege. It is a way to look at the world where your power is intact, and you have access to it. Access means: you can feel it, you can use it. Power for what? Power to be well, power to change something, move something, create something.
When you say “It seems to me” you suddenly take responsibility, to start the process, by saying th
For decades one of my sore spots was that people refused to serve me, even though I paid them.
I remember saying to myself: my money is not good enough for you? and wept.
I had no idea how I “accomplished” that… in 20/20 hindsight it is still a little spotty.
What wasn’t clear to me, never even occurred to me, how my attitude effected the service provider. My “To what degree you think of yourself:” starting point measure was, at the time, 70%. From my behavior I would have guessed it was higher.
Mainly I overrode what they said. I argued, I knew better, I acted with contempt…
What I didn’t know then is that being a service provider needs to be a win, or no service.
One of the signs of the overwhelming inauthenticity ((My definition of authenticity is that there is nothing in the unsaid that isn’t consistent with what is visible… Authenticity is one of those big words that no one knows what it really means… so they go by feeling. The simplest way to define authenticity is that there is no pretense, no façade, no game playing. The person is the same through and through, whether he/she is seen or not.
Most people smile a lot in their pictures, but I can feel their anxiety, their fear, their inner trembling.
One more thing that I haven’t said before, but given that we are working with memes: if you obey memes, if you repeat memes, if you try to fit in with memes, y
This week has been a success for Life, and a disaster financially. Everyone was spending their money on turkey, I guess.
So I am going to announce some sales for this coming week. I’ll make them good… so you’ll buy.
Now, about the successes that lead me to a huge insight.
All that people do is guided by memes, and they think they decided to do it. And you think they decided to do it from the goodness of their heart, from the badness of their heart, whatever seem to be the case. But in fact they never decided anything… It is the memes that are doing the deciding.
This is a totally different way to look at people, at life, and at what’s happening.
“It’s lonely at the top. 99% of people are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for mediocre. The level of competition is thus fiercest for ‘realistic’ goals, paradoxically making them the most competitive.”
-Tim Ferriss
Most people will never be truly successful.
The pull towards mediocrity is too strong. As David Schwartz once penned, “All around you is an environment that is trying to pull you down to Second-Class Street.”
Most people will never escape the pull.
Much of the thinking around us is small-minded. Most people are overly conce
I had an impromptu (unplanned) conversation with a long time client yesterday. Unfortunately my recorder decided to run out of battery… so I didn’t record it. This woman is one example of the perfect client for me. So what is a perfect client? A perfect client is one who is able and willing to do […]
The stuff heroes made of. Not ordinary. What was in The Secret movie and The Secret book is plain bullshit. Plain and simple. What we call ordinary is ugly. Being stopped by fear. Being stopped by doubts. Being stopped by laziness. Being stopped by anything. You get a great idea, or an invitation, and you …
A lot of people have bad skin. Acne, rashes, moles, cellulites… uglies. I put cellulite into this category. The fixit mentality, the mindset where you don’t go beyond first base is making people rich. Not you, mind you, people who are willing to sell you s-h-i-t, that you don’t need. You don’t need it because …
I am getting a lot of requests to teach people how to become people who live a life worth living, who excel in all four areas, all four pillars of the good life.
Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…
One type of memes that you honor as the truth are called a seemings. It is that way… but if you can change the saying: “It seems to me that…” then it becomes a seeming.
For decades one of my sore spots was that people refused to serve me, even though I paid them.
One of the signs of the overwhelming inauthenticity ((My definition of authenticity is that there is nothing in the unsaid that isn’t consistent with what is visible… Authenticity is one of those big words that no one knows what it really means… so they go by feeling. The simplest way to define authenticity is that there is no pretense, no façade, no game playing. The person is the same through and through, whether he/she is seen or not.
This week has been a success for Life, and a disaster financially. Everyone was spending their money on turkey, I guess.
Most people will never become truly successful.
The stuff heroes made of. Not ordinary. What was in The Secret movie and The Secret book is plain bullshit. Plain and simple. What we call ordinary is ugly. Being stopped by fear. Being stopped by doubts. Being stopped by laziness. Being stopped by anything. You get a great idea, or an invitation, and you … 
A lot of people have bad skin. Acne, rashes, moles, cellulites… uglies. I put cellulite into this category. The fixit mentality, the mindset where you don’t go beyond first base is making people rich. Not you, mind you, people who are willing to sell you s-h-i-t, that you don’t need. You don’t need it because …