Why don’t you trust? Why can’t you trust?

This is a hypothesis that will need to be confirmed with tests. I could also say: it’s a hunch.

And my hunch is that the less trustworthy you are the less trust you have. Period.

Hah, but trust, as a verb, is transitive.

So let’s see what COULD you trust, if you did:

  • 1. trust in yourself… aka self-trust.Trusting that what comes out of your mouth is the truth
    Trusting that you can
    Trusting that you will
    Trusting that your “beliefs” are accurate
    Trusting that you can meet your own expectations of yourself
    Trusting that you can meet other people’s expectations
    and probably a lot more.We’ll talk about “beliefs” that everyone seems to know what they me

Are feelings and emotions the same? Would being able to tell them apart make you a happier, more accomplished person?

Are feelings and emotions the same? …or why all techniques of increasing Emotional Intelligence are b.s. and not effecting the level of happiness, the level of well-being of people who practice it. Same is true about the Emotional Guidance System of Abraham Hicks… b.s. and ineffective. Why? Because they are trying to change the fruits instead of the roots… Putting makeup on syphilitic lesions. ((In 1969, I was 22 years old, I was hanging out with a new friend, who was gay.

One day I got a phone call from the hospital ordering me to show up… I did. I was named as a person in the ci

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence… what do psychologists say?

This article shows the state of official science for emotional intelligence.

Psychologists are not interested in the groundbreaking work developed in the books Feelings and Words…

Although when you can already recognize your feelings,  their inner dynamics, what they want you to do, what trap you my have stepped, unwittingly, the advice below is quite good.

Until then I don’t think it’s useful… Or may not be useful.

Even though emotional intelligence is really important to live a good life, to have good relationships, to get things done, to be well… for all of life.

OK, here is the article from Wikihow

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to tap into your emotions and use them to make your life better. Being in touch with your feelings allows you to manage stress levels and communicate effectively with other people, two skills that enhance your life both personally and professionally. Unlike IQ, which remains constant throughout your life,

Many of you have not managed to distinguish and build a Self, a core

According to Kabbalistic wisdom, the soul is not active in any of us until a certain age. 12 for girls and 13 for boys.

The soul’s job is to cause character, the soul’s job is to help you find out who you are. The Self.

Many of you have not managed to distinguish and build a Self.

A Self is your “I” that is independent and defensible from other people’s opinion, and from even your own opinion of you when you make mistakes.

I know this is a mouthful, so let me elaborate:

First aspect of a strong self: You have a strong Self, and someone says you are stupid, or you are brilliant… and your Self doesn’t get shaken up by that. Doesn’t feel a

The pain of being devalued…

what is the truth about youWe all have a need to fulfill others expectations of us, and also some of us have the need to fulfill our own expectations of ourselves.

Now, what if someone says something about you, or something that you like, find important, says something that conflicts with what you think about yourself, your self-image? Your “I” you consider your Self. (it isn’t… by the way)

Your experience is that you are devalued. ((devaluation. means The decrease in value of one currency in relation to another, usually by action of the government. When a currency is devalued, it buys less in foreign markets.))

The lower your vibration, the more it hurts.

And when someone puts dow

Gatekeepers To Attaining The Good Life You Could Renegotiate With?

This article reveals the tip of a significant iceberg.

Icebergs are huge chunks of ice, shaped like a pyramid.  The tip of that pyramid shows above the water level, the rest of the iceberg is underwater wreaking havoc. ((The other way to illustrate this is by looking at a duck… calm, collected, smooth… but under the water level the legs of the duck work feverishly. ))

With most things in life, the invisible part, what is under the water level is what works against you, unless you bring

Why is the “need to meet others’ expectation” so important, and why it’s a mistake to not honor it?

And how it doesn’t mean to please everybody, or even one person. You’ll see…

Our language is so corrupt, it is hard to find a person who means what they say… I mean the words. You’ll see what meeting others’ expectation is… Not what’s on the illustrations… 🙁

The most willfully ignored need, in my experience, is the need to meet others’ expectation.

What prevents you from honoring that need is a misunderstanding. Or we could say: the mis-weighing bias. All biases are misunderstanding how things work, shortcuts that give you a different result than what you expected.

In not honoring but ignoring this need, your chances for success, your chances for love, for self-expression, for happiness are so greatly diminishe

Misweighing Bias… are you penny wise and dollar foolish?

It’s Tuesday and I just got back from my exercise class.

It was full today. Everyone was in post-holiday mode, except a few people.

I had a conversation with a woman, and had a chance to see how certain words, how certain way of saying what I have been saying lands.

I shared my story, how I escaped becoming mediocre like most people. I said no to coasting with people in my life.

What is coasting? Coasting is pending time with people doing things you do not find rewarding, but they are doing it, a

Success leaves traces… as in footprints in the sand

Success literature, books, articles, movies about success… are they worth following?

Success leaves traces… as in footprints in the sand

If you look at what people did, how they did it, the tracks converge and become the “strait and narrow’, exactly the way Leo Tolstoy says it in the Anna Karenina Principle.

So there is no wonder that I am finding articles nowadays that I could have written myself, if I were a success writer.

There are three types of success writers and success coaches.

  • One type: they can talk… and talk… and talk. No success where they are, because they don’t even try. They live by teaching something that they learned… but never successfull

When you don’t fit in… what can you do?

If you are on this site, you will find yourself, more or less, in this article. And it may change your life.

A student writes,

Hi Sophie, I think I take trivial and superficial things too seriously. How can I let go of these immaterial incidents or people and focus on important things that truly matter to me?

I also find out that sometimes I become the victim of scams.

this was my answer

This is the sign of two things, Kate: 1. your map of reality isn’t very similar to reality. 2. you have too much importance attached to nice words about you… i.e. you want to be defined by words not by your actions.

It is the main reason I read the book Feelings, to f