Cynicism, resignation, feeling your feelings… turn your resistance into flow

Somebody said that being in the 900s, I must be in the flow.

I felt that what she meant and what it means are very different.

Most of what is termed “flow” is a feeling that everything is OK… That there is nothing to resist, because god is on your side.

But from that definition to get to flow, the real flow, you first have to make bad feelings wrong.

As if feelings were responsible and at fault…

But feelings are there for a reason, and resisting them is the stupidest thing you can do.

If we looked what prevents you from entering the flow state, I can promise we would find that you don’t want all the feelings, you only want the good ones.

But most, maybe all gold is in the unpleasant feelings.

I finally got response to my private message to the author of the book “Feelings.” Continue reading →

Love is not a feeling. Love is generosity. Allowing the other to fulfill their needs while you are fulfilling your own

love is generosity. love is allowing the other to fulfill their need while we are fulfilling ours.This article is not about the “love” you, or Wikipedia call love… it’s about another love… What we customarily call love is a “hardware-based need”, the need to make our genes to survive in some offspring. And some of us may call the need for pleasure, the need to get rid of the unpleasant guiding feeling of “horniness” love. Those are misnomers, dressing something as something else… prettier.

Most people have plenty of sex, no love. Some people have no sex, and plenty of love.

The two needs are not connected.

The need for love is a group of needs really. The need for a group, the need to belong. The need for someone who is on your side. But more importantly the need for someone who helps you fulfill, satisfy the “software-based needs” of the need to meet others’ expectation, and the need to fulfill your own expectation.

Those needs not fulfilled cause an overall unhappiness and hopelessness. The state Thoreau called “quiet desperation”. No one who fulfills those needs is in quiet desperation. We all need help… this is what this article is about. It’s about how love IS the fourth pillar of the good life, without which the other three don’t matter. It’s about how to have love be the source of power, courage, so you can go for all the good stuff you want.

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How Visualization Can Help You Attain Results… and Why It Probably Won’t?

visualizationVisualization is a tool to accomplish what you want, but it can also be the tool to diagnose what you are not resonating with. Or a tool to get trapped in the desire trap.

The ultimate clue as to what you can have and hold onto, is to what degree you can visualize, what detail, what variety of images you can have in your “movie”.

This is what vision boards and vision movies use.

As with any other singular method, the results are a mixed bag: about 6% of the users see their vision materialize, some sees some result, most see no result.

Why is that? why is it that a Frank Kern, millionaire marketer, can envision in one afternoon a whole life, with a lot of details, like the tiles of the bathroom, and a few years later get exactly that, while another person can’t imagine a coherent image, and can’t get results…

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Gatekeepers To Attaining The Good Life You Could Renegotiate With?

This article reveals the tip of a significant iceberg.

Icebergs are huge chunks of ice, shaped like a pyramid.  The tip of that pyramid shows above the water level, the rest of the iceberg is underwater wreaking havoc. ((The other way to illustrate this is by looking at a duck… calm, collected, smooth… but under the water level the legs of the duck work feverishly. ))

With most things in life, the invisible part, what is under the water level is what works against you, unless you bring awareness to it.

Accomplishing any meaningful purpose, including money goals, is blocked by these gatekeepers. These are beliefs, your own, your inherited beliefs, societal agreements, parental suggestions, stuff that isn’t spelled out anywhere, and yet it seems binding, it seems how the world works…

One type of these hidden blockages is agreements that were never made.

This distinction was, for me, half of what I paid the $2400 tuition for, when I did the Landmark Partnership Program. ((The other was the distinction that you live in a world of your own design.)) It has since cleared up 50% of what kept me stuck, miserable, and a victim. So please pay attention and allow this distinction to make as much or more difference for you as it made for me. Without having to pay the $2400 and shuffle off to Los Angeles six times, and the expense of that trip, hotels, hotel meals… arrrgh. Please!?

My personal, tragic example is this: I had something bad happen to me at the age of 3 and a half.
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How the left brain blocks all your attempts to evolve as a person…

I am reading a book ((Return to the brain of Eden by Tony Wright and Graham Gynn. Truth value: 7%. Careful, that means 93% b.s. If it is such low truth value: why am I reading it? Because, as you’ll see later in this article, I can tell truth from falsehood, because I read with my right brain, I can get from the book what I need, and none of the b.s. You can’t… yet.

I just started the book, but my hunch, at this early on is that what they say about food is what’s off… )) that says that humans used to be able to live from their right-brain, meaning they were a lot more intelligent.

The book says that people with damage to their left brain can become savants, exceptional in one or two abilities, or vegetables… lol, maybe not so funny.

Then the book doesn’t talk about me, who did have damage to my left brain hemisphere, and when the brain was knocked self-conscious, the two hemispheres connected and became one.

The good news: I only have some troubles with my left-brain capacities, adding numbers wrong, confusing left and right, and dyslexia: reading what isn’t there, or when it’s bad: not being able to read at all.

The bad news: Your left brain works well, and it suppresses your right brain, the abilities that are beyond words… like being, feeling, knowing, seeing, patterns… all the things I am trying to teach you. My hunch that everything gurus, religions etc. say about the heart, it is really the right brain… And what they call the subconscious is also the right brain. Suppressed, of course, showing itself only occasionally on for a brief second…

Your left brain gets the words, filters out everything it considers garbage, and you are left with what you already knew.

That is the bad news.
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If you don’t take feedback well, you need to grow up and get cracking.

You need to get better, maybe even good at it. ((Unless you are a cat person and willing to risk that only people who can’t connect to anyone else will connect to you.

By the way, this may not be true for cats… Cats are a lot smarter than that.))

So here are a few “memes” I picked today.

When you distinguish something, the whole world seems to rotate around the thing you just distinguished, so feedback showed up everywhere.

And I got acknowledged by two people on the trip to the grocery store… so I am getting better too… lol.

OK, here are the pictures…. almost…

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Why is the “need to meet others’ expectation” so important, and why it’s a mistake to not honor it?

And how it doesn’t mean to please everybody, or even one person. You’ll see…

Our language is so corrupt, it is hard to find a person who means what they say… I mean the words. You’ll see what meeting others’ expectation is… Not what’s on the illustrations… 🙁

The most willfully ignored need, in my experience, is the need to meet others’ expectation.

What prevents you from honoring that need is a misunderstanding. Or we could say: the mis-weighing bias. All biases are misunderstanding how things work, shortcuts that give you a different result than what you expected.

In not honoring but ignoring this need, your chances for success, your chances for love, for self-expression, for happiness are so greatly diminished, it’s not even funny. Continue reading →

Misweighing Bias… are you penny wise and dollar foolish?

It’s Tuesday and I just got back from my exercise class.

It was full today. Everyone was in post-holiday mode, except a few people.

I had a conversation with a woman, and had a chance to see how certain words, how certain way of saying what I have been saying lands.

I shared my story, how I escaped becoming mediocre like most people. I said no to coasting with people in my life.
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How much energy do you need to create the good life and maintain it?

how much energy do you need to create the good life and maintain it?If you want to grow as a person, or grow anything worth growing, you need energy. Lots of it. Continuously.

Physical law says that systems, unless they are very highly organized closed systems, like the brain, will fall apart with time (entropy)… Your life is NOT highly organized, because it is not a closed system. So in order for it to stay organized and effective, it needs a ton of energy to be injected, continually.

Left alone, your life starts falling apart. This is what happens during holidays and vacations.

Injecting energy into your life is going to be a crucial distinction you need to learn.

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Success leaves traces… as in footprints in the sand

Success literature, books, articles, movies about success… are they worth following?

Success leaves traces… as in footprints in the sand

If you look at what people did, how they did it, the tracks converge and become the “strait and narrow’, exactly the way Leo Tolstoy says it in the Anna Karenina Principle.

So there is no wonder that I am finding articles nowadays that I could have written myself, if I were a success writer.

There are three types of success writers and success coaches.

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