How not to have your spine shrivel up on you?

It’s New Year’s day. Billions of people give and get strokes… ((A stroke (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more you get the less your spine shrivels up on you…

Experiments show that babies stop thriving if they have insufficient social transactions… Other experiments how that rats are the same way. But the most surprising thing is: for a rat (and I guess for a human) an electric shock, a slap on the face, and insult also count as a stroke… preventing their spine from shriveling up.

My personal interpretation is: as long as life tells you you exist, you want

4 Stages of Consciousness… where do YOU live?

Four stages of consciousness This is another seven years old article… I read an interesting article on consciousness today that opened my eyes to something: You can ask a question of yourself, and depending on the answer you can locate … Continue reading “4 Stages of Consciousness… where do YOU live?” Related Posts: If you […]

When the teacher needs to do the work for herself: climbing the Tree of Life

I listened to step two of the 67 steps, I think, the seventh time three days ago, and then again yesterday. The step is about evolution. Growth. What it takes to grow… personally. It’s also about being adaptable, it’s about … Continue reading →

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Long winter may be the secret of high achievers

This article is about using guidance, but not for its truth value, but in spite of its truth value. Tai’s 67 steps program coupled with my coaching is the perfect growth program. It’s not because of me, it is not … Continue reading → Related Posts: There is no hurry on the creative plane… The […]

Why is the “need to meet others’ expectation” so important, and why it’s a mistake to not honor it?

And how it doesn’t mean to please everybody, or even one person. You’ll see…

Our language is so corrupt, it is hard to find a person who means what they say… I mean the words. You’ll see what meeting others’ expectation is… Not what’s on the illustrations… 🙁

The most willfully ignored need, in my experience, is the need to meet others’ expectation.

What prevents you from honoring that need is a misunderstanding. Or we could say: the mis-weighing bias. All biases are misunderstanding how things work, shortcuts that give you a different result than what you expected.

In not honoring but ignoring this need, your chances for success, your chances for love, for self-expression, for happiness are so greatly diminishe

Learning lessons the hard way… or the easy way… Part 2

thought experimentThe brilliance in the movie, “It’s a wonderful life” is that the angel creates a thought experiment what the world would be like if our hero hadn’t been born.

Thought experiments are uniquely human: animals don’t do thought experiments.

The minimum intelligence required to create a thought experiment is 70… and I am not talking about IQ measured intelligence, I am talking about overall intelligence.

The average intelligence in the world is 50… But all my site’s visitors qualify.

So let’s look at

How to have all the skeletons in your closet come alive and conspire against the future you invented, the future you desire?

There is a myth humans hold onto, that if they stay angry and something or someone, then they are better people than whoskeletons-in-the-closet they are angry at.

All pretense… which is bad in and of itself, but there is more…

When you are mad at something you did, or mad at someone who did something you recognize… then you are hooked.

Hooked in that angry mode of existence.

Locked in the anger, locked out of freedom, future, happiness.

As long as you hold onto that anger.

I think it may be useful to di

The many ways to be unhappy, the only way to be happy…

I am out of here attitudeI mean this article to be the first installment in a series.

The underlying principle is the Anna Karenina principle

The Anna Karenina principle

The Anna Karenina principle is: good systems must meet simultaneously a number of requirements. All good systems are alike, bad systems are bad in their own way

Tolstoy said: Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way

Aristotle said: success/failure: …it is possible to fail in many ways (for evil belongs to the class of the

Soul Correction: I am such a giving person, why do people hate me?

A student of mine lives in the same town as I do and for a while he used to drive me around to do errands.

Then I realized that it made him feel entitled to insult me on calls, so I put an end to that arrangement.

That was about two months ago.

He sent me a few emails offering rides, etc.

We even spent a few good times doing “exploring your own neighborhood” type of things, like visiting lakes and such.

Every email that he sends emphasizes that he is giving me something, asking me what I need… etc.

I stopped wanting anything.

I don’t want him to give me anything any more. I experience a feeling akin to hate or anger rising in me every time I think of him.

My regular driver is taking a break: she works at the New York State Fair for a few days, and I am driverless. I need stuff. But I won’t ask my student for help because of what I want to share with you.

If you are a perpetual and compulsive giver, you think that you are a good person, don’t you? Am I corre

Many people grieve continuously. What do you grieve for? Is it grief or is it depression?

Believe it or not, grieving ((from Wikipedia: Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, spiritual, and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the reaction to loss, along with nostalgic longing for something or someone that probably won’t return.

Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering one feels when something or someone the individual loves is taken away. Grief is also a reaction to any loss. The grief associated with death is familiar to most people, but individuals grieve in connection with a variety of losses throughout their l