More on why you can’t succeed alone

follow through aka systemsI just realized something: following an already established process, going step by step, is a whole different capacity than creating one.

I am weak at both, but I am literally unwilling to spend my limited energies to create a process.

The resistance is so strong, my neck and shoulders are hurting.

What is that about?

There are a lot of ways to analyze humans and their behaviors, and one of them is through conation, which is a, I guess, Latin word for inclination, or inner nature.

Kathy Kolbe created a few tests and she says that the amount of initiative, the amount of energy to start something is finite, and everyone’s can be divided to 20… so far so good, I hope.

The four drastically different ways to approach something, to initiate something are
Continue reading

Are you the gift, or are you the gift giver? Do “they” feel they need to give you a gift?

you-are-the-giftI was looking at Christmas this morning and I saw something that I had never seen before.

Your relationships can be described in terms of gift giving and receiving.

For some people, in your life, you may be a gift. You and your life. And for others, you substitute that by giving them gifts at the predetermined gift-giving time… and buy another year to not be a gift.

I know, I know, I am off my rocker… but maybe you are! Have you ever thought about that?

I was looking at my relationships. Allowing the other to be a gift takes generosity of spirit. And to be a gift yourself and your life takes a level of consciousness that is rare in the world.

Most people who live a meaningful life, whose job is meaningful, if they told you the politically incorrect truth, would say that they are a gift, their work is a gift… no ego about it, just a fact.

I had this conversation with Sarah, the woman who drives me every Tuesday to do my shopping and such. And I had this conversation with my chiropractor.

I had a sense that both knew that they were a gift to me. Sarah also saw me as a gift. My chiropractor didn’t.
Continue reading

What are skills? I bet you have no clue… or you would be building them…

7-Skill-Building-Activities-for-your-5-Year-Old-Boy-2What are skills?

Don’t feel stupid, 99% of all people have no idea what skills are. This is one of the secrets that make people stuck in the dead end job they are in… not knowing what skills are, and not knowing what their skills are.

Skills are abilities, true and tried abilities you have used and used them well enough to succeed.

Skill means: you can do something. well enough.

Driving is a skill. Cooking is a skill, Shopping for groceries is a skill.

Changing the channel on the TV is a skill. Programming the VCR is a skill. Attaching a picture to your email is a skill.

Some people have a lot of skills because they do a lot of things.

Other people only have a few skills.

Bill Gates built skills through 10,000 hours of programming. Just read the book of the Outliers…
More skills than just programming…

One of the skills he built is to get up at 3 am, walk to the computer center, program for three hours, and walk home, go back to sleep, and get up in time to go to school.
Continue reading

What is the button I could push that would make you do what you need to do to grow?

why is there no big red button?Today was my errands day. It is also the only day during the week when I talk to anyone.

And as you know, talking when I have echo, someone who hears me is the most meaningful activity for me.

I did have private clients for massage, and I did it for 16 years… Giving a massage is not meaningful for me. So I picked and chose, and filtered, and screened the people that wanted a massage: If I didn’t feel that there will be a meaningful conversation, that I would be heard, I didn’t take them as a client.

Hey, it’s my life, and my fulfillment is what it is supposed to be organized around.

I am unabashed that what is important to me is the most important thing for me, bar none.

So being more influential, hearing more echo from you is always on my mind, because it is not working. Not working for me.
Continue reading

Tangerine Technique, Tangerine Method: can you hack it? Can you do it? Will it work for you?

photoreading

Why is it that the tangerine technique works for some and doesn’t for others? Why is it that PhotoReading works for some people and not to others? The culture says that we are all the same, and therefore, THEREFORE! we … Continue reading

Read more here:: https://yourvibration.com/21302/tangerine-technique-tangerine-method/

      

There is no secret, no secret ingredient to raising your vibration, to become an expanding human being.

'I can't get my computer to work.'For those of you who have been making ever tightening circle around the secret, you may call it the truth, this is first a big let-down. A disappointment.

But when you look again, it gives you your life back, your ship is again under your command… you can become a finder instead of a seeker of the secret.

“The secret of growth” you’ve known but wished to be different is this: find something that is rewarding on the short term and has the potential to be rewarding on the long term, and become the best at it.

Rewarding means you can see the fruit of your labor, and they are yours.

If it’s playing computer games… then get good at that. And I am not kidding. Some of the best code breakers, computer experts come from computer game champions, and we need computer wizards.

Anything rewarding that you love to do starts to grow you, your skills, your intellect, and is a path to growth.

But instead you are not doing anything, because you are waiting for the right, the secret thing to do, that will take you right to the top, like an elevator.

Most of you are not good at anything.

I suggested to one of my students to work on his ability to be the life of the party… he went back to dreaming about real estate success… he has NO skills for that. And is growing none…
Continue reading

How, what you don’t know that you don’t know, is biting you… and you can’t see what bit you without help

youDontKnowYouDontKnowHow, what you don’t know that you don’t know, is biting you… and you can’t see what bit you without help

If I asked you what it is that you don’t know that you don’t know… no matter how long you looked, you would not see anything, because it is either that you don’t know or the question is stupid.

But everything that is missing for you to know is in that: what you don’t know that you don’t know.

The question is: is there a way to see what you don’t know that you don’t know? The answer is: yes… other people’s blind spots are different from yours.

And then some people specialize in that area…

Malcolm Gladwell is the guy who you want to look at for many of the “We didn’t know that we didn’t know” cultural blind spots.
Continue reading

What else do you need to know about the capacity: flexibility?

Oak-reedWhat else do you need to know about the capacity: flexibility?

In a recent article I pit reed-mode against oak-mode.

I call one flexible and the other inflexible or stuck.

But there is more to it.

Reed

  1. Reed can be blown in any direction, and it doesn’t resist
  2. Reed will return to its neutral state once the wind stops blowing. It knows what it is, and it returns there. It’s a natural state of growth, happiness and peace.

Sometimes you think you are a reed, because you are blown, in one direction: misery. But you are mistaken.
Continue reading

The process of going from hopeless to energized and in action: limbering up, becoming flexible

hopeless man... as bad as being homelessAbout 50% of mornings I wake up depressed, hopeless, and regretting that I woke up at all.

Why would that be? Because my view of my life is stuck in a particular vantage point, you could call negative.

And those mornings, with the exception of a few, I look around for ways to unstuck myself. Not because I believe I can… but because I learned to do that.

This morning I read the Monday Morning Memo… and was inspired to write my own based on the same general idea.

I had no idea that I can do it, I had no idea if it would take me anywhere: I had the flexibility to do it.

Did I know it was going to unstuck me? Not really. And it did…

Something similar I do every morning. Sometimes I have to do it over and over and over, sometimes I get swept away by the joy of expressing myself…

And rarely, nowadays, I indulge my hopelessness for a day or two.
Continue reading

Spirituality and Personality: The Psycho-Spiritual Controversy

If you have been involved in either therapy or counselling, or spirituality and meditation, in recent years you have probably encountered two basic, polarized viewpoints concerning personality. Essentially it amounts to this: therapists are pro-personality (and its improvement through healing neurosis etc.) while spiritual teachers proclaim personality a big waste of time, since neurotic or not, you are more than your personality.

This is not particularly surprising, since therapy and counseling tend to be concerned with the individual, while spiritual practices are concerned with higher matters. But it does lead the novices and beginners into a quandary where they are faced with the decision of what to do about personality. On the one hand, therapy could be an expensive, futile effort to better the personality, whereas, on the other hand, spiritual practice may offer an excuse to leave personal problems behind, with the justification that you are moving on to more lofty concerns.

In the extensive time I have been engaged in therapy and spirituality I can say that I have discovered the answer to this controversy! And I don’t say it without reluctance and a certain caution, since my answer is liable to offend both camps — therapists and spiritual teachers. Perhaps my answer is less a rejection or abandonment of one viewpoint for another and more of a synthesis. This may be an answer of the best kind – the kind that doesn’t marginalize or dismiss anyone’s experience or viewpoint. For my answer, while radically new and innovative, does not fundamentally disagree with either point of view, but considers each appropriate to the complex, total unfolding process of our human nature and potential.

My answer to the dilemma is to propose a third band of human experience. I call this “the authentic self” and since I am not using any unusual words I need to define this term, because I do mean something specific. The authentic self, in the way I use the term, is the bridge between the personality and the spiritual self. It is arrived at usually, but not always, after a lengthy period of intensive, deep, applied and consistent inner work. This inner work consists of a journey of self-discovery in which one circumvents the self, becoming increasingly aware of the conscious and unconscious material that comprises one’s sense of self, or ego. This involves character, which is essentially defensive strategy or an intelligent, protective reaction to early conditioning, which becomes increasingly calcified and adapted throughout adolescence and adult life. Character is composed of the way in which we survive and protect ourselves from inner and outer stimuli and ultimately avoid really meeting life. It creates a self-imposed prison — limitations in which we feel falsely safe.

Self-discovery also involves cultivating our awareness of personality, or the way in which character (defenses and strategies) is experienced. Both inwardly and outwardly we erect a barrier to experience — life events and other people — which is a mask, façade or persona which eclipses the real person, or our true nature.

We also raise emotional and behavioural patterns out of the murky stratum of the unconscious, out of unawareness, and see just how much our life is lived automatically, as an automaton without real human response, emotional feeling, resonance, empathy or even awareness.

The process of self-discovery involves witnessing, reliving and remembering, practicing awareness and releasing pent-up emotions, returning the bodymind, through self-regulating, self-healing and self-referral, to a natural state of balance, ease and relaxation, and opening to insight and experience. In the short-term the experience is enriching, enlivening and full of dramatic changes. In the long-term through achieving personal wholeness, soul nourishment and insights we reach a threshold, a bridge, a chasm – all variously transitional metaphors that signify a quantum leap, a fourth dimensional change that I have termed “the threshold of transformation”.

The significance of this threshold, and what distinguishes it from all the changes that have gone before, is that is effects are irreversible — it is a step from which there is no going back. Once taken, this step across the threshold will lead you to the condition of authenticity and intimacy with your own true nature.

This insight renders the controversy about personality redundant. But it does depend on our ability to clearly distinguish the psychological from the spiritual.

Read the original article: Spirituality and Personality: The Psycho-Spiritual Controversy