
Can you listen to insults to your family, your god, your country and be unphased?
Can you watch death and grieving and be unphased?
I am unphased 91% of the time. Very few things pull me out of the equilibrium, where I need to recover so I can return to being well and unphased. All of them I self-created, none of them are real.
I cry a lot. I feel people’s grief, I feel centuries old sadness, I feel the pain of not being allowed to grow, or even to live.
I am re-reading an book about the story of a family, the Levis, through 800 years

My first foray, my first venture into joy or joyous is trying to figure out what joy is. After all we don’t know necessarily what words mean when it comes to feelings… do we. We, children, watch and learn… but in a world where what you see is a mask, what you see does not represent a feeling accurately, because the person isn’t feeling it, because the person is faking it, the looks don’t help.




















